This ?!@$#&%^(+). Life of Mine

? - I'm feeling quite confused. Why me? Why ME?

! - This is crazy!

@ - @ least I have this blog to keep me going...

$ - Needa find some. Fast.

# - I sometimes feel like I'm just a number to all these docs. When will my turn come?

& - There's always more.

% - Will I be one of those whose dreams never come true?

^ - The mountain's raised on top of my head.

(+) - I feel like I'm between stages right now, just waiting for something positive.

. - needs no explanation.

It's Not The Same

Don't tell me that you know what it feels like because you had a five year space between your fourth and fifth.

Don't tell me that it's even harder for you because you know what having a child really feels like.

Just don't compare the two of us.

We're not the same.

Never were.

Overheard in the Teachers' Room

You think she's pregnant?

I don't know... she looks like she might be.

Oh, I would be so, so thrilled for her. She's waited so long.

Yeah, but it's partly her fault. I mean, she could really lose some weight. I heard it's much more difficult to have kids if you're overweight.

You shouldn't be so judgemental. Maybe it's genetic.

Nah, she eats to much for it to be genetic.



(and by the way, my loyal readers, I am not pregnant, as far as I know)

Sugar & Spice (and everything nice)

Giant lollipops grow higher still
I long to pick each stem at will
And in this garden in my mind
I choose to lick each one in kind

Alas, my dream is not to be
For sugar is forbidden to me

At Chinese restaurants so fine
There is a dish that's quite divine
Batter dipped with sesame
I cannot help myself, you see

Alas, my dish is not to be
For sugar is forbidden to me

On Yom Tov, my mom does roast
A piece of meat, and dare I boast
This brisket's one that's sweet and tender
All the good stuff I remember

Alas, my meat is not to be
For sugar is forbidden to me

But spices, yes they take the cake (literally)
Oregano and pepper flake
Parsley, dill, basil, mint
Chives and garlic, salt (a hint)

I sprinkle these on liberally
'Cept on dessert, because fruit is "free"

But still, I dream of white flour
While whole wheat muffins I devour

Scared

I saw them over Chol Hamoed. They looked like the perfect couple; her wig styled just right, his shirt neatly tucked in. They smiled and laughed and smoothed the curly hair of their two year old son. He looks just like a combination of the two of them.

He's adopted.

She waved at me, and I gave a half wave back and semi-smiled. She seemed like she had something to say, but I quickly walked away.

I'm scared to talk to her. Scared I'll find out how happy she is. Scared I'll find out how much she loves her little boy.

I'm too scared that I'll be like her one day.