Sleep

Every night
It seems the same
Sleep eludes
my tired frame

I try to rest
My weary eyes
For I've been up
since sunrise

I'm aching to
just fall asleep
but my ears
hear every creak

And so I lay
awake in bed
tomorrow's come
the day I dread.

And now the world
Is painted red.

My Face's Location

Atop my neck
Sits my face
In its most
Usual place

So why do all
Look instead
Towards my middle
'Stead of my head?

Promises...

She promised me a son within the year
That was three years ago.

He promised me a child before Purim
That was more than a year ago.

They promised me the world
Broken promises.

I am an Island

I am an island.
Weathered by the sands of time.
Rocky shores surrounded by
seas of tears.
And long ago buried treasures
waiting to be uncovered.

I am an island.
A lone landmass amidst a
raging sea.
Wave upon wave of tempest storms
followed by bouts of calm winds.

I am an island.
Waiting for a ship
to come along.

Burnt Again

Went to a family simcha on Thursday.
My husband was so calm and happy, thinking that maybe this time, we too had a chance at making our own.
And then, that same day, it was over.
Finito.
And I couldn't even cry, because I was having guests for Shabbos and had to cook and get my home ready.

On to the next round!
(At least the doctor, nurses, and secretaries were happy to see me...)

The Waiting Place

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

-Dr. Suess

So, once again, I'm waiting.
Waiting for that day to come... when they'll prick my inner elbow, draw some blood, and tell me if my dreams have come true or not.
Just waiting. Not allowed to lift. Feeling nauseous and tired and altogether out of sorts.

I hate waiting.

Sister Dearest

I know your smile
I know your grin
and I know the different nuances between them

I know your walk
I know your waddle
and I know when you begin to feel unwell

I know your pleading eyes
I know your puppy-dog faces
and I know that I can't ever say "no" to you

But do you hear my tired laugh?
Do you see my drained collapse?
Do you sense the tears welling just beyond the pale?

I'm breaking down, sister dear.
I can't carry your burdens forever.